A talk I gave in March 2009

Good afternoon bro and sisters. I have the privilege of speaking today on a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I would like to preface my remarks today with some thoughts from Elder Boyd K Packer given at the world wide training session last year. He said:
“Furthermore, we know that [many in the church] are not now married, nor do some have an intact family fitting the ideal we regularly refer to in the Church. Please be assured we are fully aware of the many different circumstances that exist among our members. We love every one of you. We also realize that as more and more families are in disarray and as many cultural forces devalue marriage, children, and traditional family life, the General Authorities and general officers of the Church feel increased urgency to speak of ideals and gospel-centered principles….
....It is precisely because many don’t have, or perhaps have never even seen, that ideal and because some cultural forces steadily move us away from that ideal, that we speak about what our Father in Heaven wishes for us in His eternal plan for His children…..
…..family circumstances may differ. But all of us can agree on the pattern as it comes from God, and we can strive for its realization the best way we can…. ]
…We take great strength in knowing the Lord has spoken on these matters, and we accept His counsel ….How grateful we are that the Lord has said, “I will give unto you a pattern in all things, that ye may not be deceived” (D&C 52:14)”

My remarks today are intended to do just that. To be a review of the pattern the Lord has set for us to strive for.

In primary this year our theme is My Eternal Family. We have the opportunity to help you teach the principles of Eternal Family to your children.
When it comes to families, what is the Lord’s pattern? In the opening paragraph of the Family, a Proclamation to the World the First Presidency and council of the 12 apostles proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the creators plan for the eternal destiny of his children. They don’t just state these words, they proclaim them and they don’t proclaim that marriage is a good idea and we should try it if we get around to it some day. They proclaim marriage is central and later that it is essential to His eternal plan.

To understand the importance of that statement we must understand the plan of happiness. As members of the church we know that we lived with God before coming to this earth. We know, as the proclamation goes on to say:
“all human beings, male and female, are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents and as such each has a divine nature and destiny…
We also know that:
…In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life.

Do we believe that? That we have a divine destiny as an heir of eternal life?
If so, then there is no other idea or plan that should entice us. Marriage is the means by which God planned for his children to gain those bodies spoken of. Marriage is the foundation for the family.

The proclamation goes on to say, “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants made available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

Thus we see that not only marriage is central and essential to God’s plan, but marriage in the temple is central and essential as it allows the family relationship to be eternal, meaning not just beyond the grave, but with God. We can only return to him through the ordinances made available there.

Can one be happy in this life without the ordinances of the temple? Of course one can, just as one can be happy without the ordinance of baptism. But what kind of happiness is it. This earth life is temporary and so earthly happiness must therefore be temporary.
In order to achieve Eternal Happiness we must follow the pattern that will allow us to achieve it.

We are further instructed in Doc and Cov. 131:1-3 that in the celestial glory [which is where we will realize our divine destiny] there are three heavens or degrees, and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood, [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]. And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

Thus we see that just as we get baptized because it is the gate to the path back to God, we marry in the temple because it is the only way to become that heir of eternal life spoken of earlier.

I discovered a quote a while back by Shakespeare that that I love and it is now on the walls of our home :
“He is the half part of a blessed man, left to be finished by such as she;
And she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in him.”
Upon reading it, my mind took me to the scripture found in
1 Corinthians 11:11: “Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”

Imagine it. What a wonderful world this would be if we could all know and understand the concept that men and women complete each other. How could one ever not want to get married and stay married? How could one not want an eternal marriage if we cannot “be in the Lord without it.”?
Once we are married in the temple I ask if all is done? As stated in 2 Nephi 31 in speaking about baptism, I say “nay” We have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.
vs. 20, “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of [all men] our spouse. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
How do we press forward in marriage?

The Proclamation further states that husbands and wives have an obligation to love and care for one another.

My husband, Kevin, affectionately know to many as Bob, and I celebrated our 33 anniversary just a couple of weeks ago. I did not know or understand the previous principles of completing each other when we were first married.
One time when I was feeling sorry for myself I found a book at the library titled “His Needs her needs” by Willard F Harley Jr. My favorite quote from his book is “Discover the needs of your spouse and learn to meet them. We all feel love differently and if we try to show our love to our spouse the way we feel loved, they might not recognize what you are doing as love. Meeting our spouses’ needs will always make them feel loved.
I discovered another concept of loving from a talk given by a friend of mine titled there is more than one way to fold a towel.
She spoke of how her mother taught her to fold towels and how when she grew up and left home, she discovered a different way to fold towels that she liked better. Was her mother’s way the right way? It was for her mother, but in her house she had discovered a new way. Is there only one right way to fold a towel? No. Since the way we fold a towel doesn’t have an affect on our salvation, the way we fold it doesn’t really matter if the end result is a folded towel. Speaking as a woman, I think we have a tendency to knit pick at our husbands. We sometimes forget that there is more than one way to fold a towel. We often think our way is the only way and have a tendency to want to change our husband instead of taking Sis Marjory Hinckley’s advice.
In speaking of their first year of marriage she has said, “We loved each other; there was no doubt about that, but we also had to get used to each other. I think every couple has to get used to each other. Early on I realized it would be better if we worked harder to get used to each other than constantly try to change each other.
Another quote I like by William James is “the essence of genius [or love as I like to say] is to know what to overlook.”
I have seen many a marriage and too many eternal marriages thrown away because they could not do that.
Many also give up because they feel sorry for themselves and give in to the feeling of aren’t I entitled to some happiness? Martha Washington expressed that it was her experience that the greater part of ones happiness or misery depended more upon our dispositions, than our circumstances.

In my study of the scriptures, I have found only one group of people that are entitled to anything.
All other reception of blessings rely on the keeping of the commandments upon which they are predicated.
So, who is the group that is entitled to something without predication? The answer is found again in the Proclamation.

Parents also have an obligation to love their children, and children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father, and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.
[This is a very important concept for you teenagers to remember and understand. The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between a man and woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife precisely so that this entitlement may be realized by a child being born into this world.]

To expand on this thought [of a childs entitlement] and to share some ideas on how to be steadfast and endure to the end that can also be found in the proclamation…. Children are entitled to parents who read the Book of Mormon to them daily to help their faith in Jesus Christ grow. [I testify that doing so will also be a sheild and a protection not only to your children, but to your marriage.] They are entitled to parents who pray together, who have learned to forgive each other through the atonement of the Savior. They are entitled to parents who respect each other, who love each other, who are compassionate, who know how to work and how to play with them.
They are entitled to parents that teach them the gospel. The best teacher is always example, but that alone is not enough. I asked members of my family what made them want to marry in the temple. The parents example of attendance was high on the list, but it was much more than that. They wanted to go because,
…We talked of temple marriage, we rejoiced in temple marriage, and we preached of temple marriage….that our children may know to what means they may obtain eternal life. [2 Nephi 25]
In addition, it was expected that thit is what would happen. [A testimony of temple marriage grows just as a testimony of the Savior grows.]
Children are also entitled to parents who understand that equal responsibility does not mean the same responsibility. To parents who are learning to understand that they are to complete each other, not compete with each other.

How wonderful my life has become since I have discovered these statements to be true and have tried to live my life as they suggest, realizing that my true perfection lies not only with my being bound to my Savior, but being bound to my spouse.
I would never trade the journey I have traveled so far to get to the eternally happily ever after that I am experiencing right now.
I am grateful for parents who taught me the gospel including temple marriage. And for children who chose to accept the gospel that we tried to teach them as they grew in our home…….
…In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen


By Rulene E Walk
March 2009

I testify that by marrying in the temple and learning to complete each other, we will receive that blessing which is predicated upon these things, even that of being an heir of eternal life. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.